So it has been really easy to throw myself a pity party lately. In the last week alone my AC has gone out, a pipe burst, my washer broke, my dogs got sick, I got into a wreck, was late for work, urgent care wouldn't see me, and that's just the big things.
I am constantly in a state of looking forward to the next big thing, or thinking about what I can check off my to do list. Patience is not a quality that I think I even possess. One of my biggest struggles is contentment.
I often find myself saying "but that's not fair" for whatever reason. Whether I don't think someone has worked as hard as me, or doesn't "deserve" something as much as I do.
Even just confidence has taken years to develop. While I am lightyears more comfortable in my own skin that I used to be, I still find myself occasionally staring at another girl, eyes green with envy, thinking "If only I had hair like hers" or "I wish my legs looked like that."
It is so easy to fall into a pattern of comparison. Thinking, "Oh I'll be happy when my house looks like theirs" or "Once my hair is that long I'll feel pretty."
My biggest goal in life right now is to change that attitude. To stop feeling sorry for myself if my life isn't as seemingly easy as someone else's. To stop making myself not feel good enough because something doesn't go my way. And especially letting my happiness rise and fall based upon how my day is going or if one thing doesn't go according to plan.
I have an amazing life. I have a wonderful family, a husband who loves me through the crazy and supports me, a great job, a new house, two little puppies who think I hung the moon, and friends who care about me.
I pray that each day I can realize that and be thankful for it. I am blessed more than most.
So ya, that's what has been on my mind lately. Finding contentment. Maybe you have felt that way too, or maybe you're wondering why I haven't posted another DIY this week (If you would care to re-read the first paragraph $$$). But that's what lifestyle blogging is. Sharing what you're doing and why you're doing it. And today I am working on me.